Note to ECONOMIC LOGIC blog readers:
This is exactly the same list I posted on the EL blog for subscribers only.
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Every Wednesday I shop for used CDs, DVDs and books. I have over 2,000 CDs in my music collection now. I've found great movies I'd never heard of before. The books I find at Salvation Army stores are the best bargains.
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Below are quotes from a 1990 book I bought last month for 25 cents: "The Complete Book of Zingers", by Croft Pentz, who was a minister, pastor and chaplain in New Jersey.
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His book consists of 6,000 one-sentence sayings, which he calls "sentence sermons". Some are originals -- most are not. No 'authors' are listed.
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I typed a list of my favorites and want to share it.
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It's too much work to search for authors on-line, assuming doing that would even get me the correct answers. Summarizing all the funny quotes attributed to him, Yogi Berra (R.I.P. 2015) once said: "I didn't really say everything I said."
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Here are my favorite 'sentence sermons' from "Zingers" -- I tried to sort them in the ten broad categories listed below:
(1) CHARACTER
(2) RELATIONSHIPS
(3) MARRIAGE
(4) HAPPINESS
(5) WORK
(6) WISDOM
(7) EDUCATION
(8) AGING
(9) POLITICS
(10) OTHER
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(1) CHARACTER
It is better to be short of cash than to be short of character.
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Character is what you are when no one is watching.
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You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him or to him.
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The company we choose is always an index of our character.
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The greatest evil is indifference toward evil.
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You have not really lived until you have done something for someone who can not repay you.
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When in doubt, tell the truth.
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When you tell the truth, you don't have to remember what you said.
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If there's one thing we should let others find out for themselves, it's how great we are.
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Tact is changing the subject without changing your mind.
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How you spend your time is more important than how you spend your money.
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Reputation is what you have when you come into town; character is what you have when you leave.
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(2) RELATIONSHIPS
You never get a second chance to make a good first impression.
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Of all things you wear, your expression is most important.
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He who tells the faults of others to you will tell your faults to others at the first opportunity.
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When you ask someone to keep a secret, you are asking someone to do something you can't.
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An apology is a good way to have the last word.
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To find fault is easy -- to do better is difficult.
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When looking for faults, use a mirror, not a telescope.
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Look over your own faults, and soon you will overlook the faults of others.
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Count your blessings -- your critics are keeping track of your mistakes.
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If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it.
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An ounce of thought may prevent a pound of apology.
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It takes a child two years to learn to talk -- it takes a man all his life to learn how to keep his mouth shut.
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When I am right -- nobody remembers.
When I am wrong -- nobody forgets.
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An angry man is seldom reasonable, a reasonable man is seldom angry.
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(3) MARRIAGE
To have a successful marriage -- whenever you are wrong, admit it; when you are right, keep your mouth shut.
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Before criticizing your wife's faults, remember that they may have prevented her from getting a better husband.
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A good salesman is the fellow who can convince his wife she looks fat in a fur coat.
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Behind every successful man stands a devoted wife and a surprised mother-in-law.
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Love is giving someone your undivided attention.
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A woman likes a strong, silent man because she thinks he is listening.
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An argument is two people trying to get in the last word.
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About the only time a woman really succeeds in changing a male is when he's a baby.
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(4) HAPPINESS
Happiness is not having what you want -- but wanting what you have.
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A contented person is one who enjoys the scenery along the detour.
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Many people want what they don't need and need what they don't want.
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You have the rest of your life to be miserable, so enjoy today.
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Happiness is not doing what you like, it is liking what you do.
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(5) WORK
A conference room is a place where everybody talks, nobody listens, and everyone disagrees afterwards
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After all is said and done, more is said than done.
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The only exercise some people get is jumping to conclusions, sidestepping responsibility, and pushing their luck.
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People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves.
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Small opportunities are often the beginning of great achievements.
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If at first you don't succeed, you are like most people.
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You know a man is successful when the newspapers start quoting him on subjects he knows nothing about.
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If a fool and his money are soon parted, how come they got together in the first place?
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A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them.
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Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.
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(6) WISDOM
A wise man changes his mind; a fool, never.
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Education requires a lot of books -- wisdom requires a lot of time.
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The first step to wisdom is silence -- the second is listening.
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Wise men think without talking; fools talk without thinking.
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A wise man has something to say; a fool has to say something.
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The truth of a matter is not determined by how many people believe it.
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A handful of common sense is worth a bushel of learning.
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Intelligence is like a river -- the deeper it is, the less noise it makes.
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The intelligent person is not only open to new ideas -- he looks for them.
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Smart is when you believe only half of what you hear -- brilliant is when you know which half.
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When you argue with a fool -- two fools are arguing.
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(7) EDUCATION
No man really becomes a fool until he stops asking questions.
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Everyone is ignorant -- only on different subjects.
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The recipe for perpetual ignorance is to be satisfied with your opinions and content with your knowledge.
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Give your tongue more rest than your eyes or ears.
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Some of the best arguments are spoiled by people who know what they are talking about.
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It is not polite to talk with a full mouth or empty head.
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Jumping to conclusions is not nearly as good a mental exercise as digging for facts.
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"They say" is often proved to be a great liar.
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(8) AGING
Middle age starts the day you become more interested in how long your car will last than how fast it will go.
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Old age is when you get out of the shower and you're glad the mirror is fogged up.
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The seven ages of man: spills, drills, thrills, bills, ills, pills, and wills.
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(9) POLITICS
Political speeches are like the horns on a steer -- a point here and there, and a lot of bull in between.
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There is only one fact politicians need to know: most people have very short memories.
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Politicians are the same everywhere -- they promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.
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A politician is an operator who takes money from the rich, votes from the poor, and then promises both sides protection from each other.
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A politician is a man who approaches every problem with an open mouth.
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Some people take the money and run; politicians run and then take the money.
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Americans used to say, "Give me liberty." Today they just say, "Give me."
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In America there is much complaint with little suffering -- in some countries there is much suffering with little complaint.
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(10) OTHER
A minor operation is one performed on someone else.
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To enjoy music, keep your ears open -- to allow others to enjoy it, keep your mouth shut.
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Not every question deserves an answer.
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The man who drinks much thinks little.
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Three of the most difficult things in life are to keep a secret, forget an injury, and to make good use of spare time.
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Life is what happens when you are making other plans.
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Not included is one of my favorite "sermons":
When people start predicting the future, plug your ears with your fingers, and hum loudly.
(This is the only known defense against leftists whining about climate change, or how unfair the world is.)